Giving, Lying, and Dying

I’ve been in church all my life. Literally. I’ve heard many sermons on giving. Too many! I remember when my best friend’s family stopped going to church when I was in middle school. When I asked him why, he said “The last Sunday we went, my dad said, ‘If that pastor talks about giving again, it’ll be the last time we go.’ He did.” 

You may have grown up in a church that pressured or guilted people to give. Or perhaps one that equated giving with being spiritual or promised blessings in return from God. Maybe they passed the plate or had everyone come forward to give publicly. I know some of you who have seen pastors give special preference or access to people because they had money. That's sad. I wonder what they do with James 2?! 

Money has become a big deal in American churches because money is the American Idol. It seems that we’re more about money than the Holy Spirit...or disciple-making...or helping others. In the 1200s, Thomas Aquinas and Pope Innocent II, walked through the beautiful streets of the Vatican to the opulent study of the Pope where a large sum of money was spread out. The Pope boasted, “You see, the Church no longer has to say, as Peter did, ‘Silver and gold have I none.’” Aquinas replied, “True, but neither can she say to the lame, ‘Rise up and walk.’” Certainly that would apply to the church in America. We are the wealthiest nation in the world and big, beautiful churches are on every other corner it seems. With all the focus on wealth, giving, buildings, conferences, and highly paid pastors (some with multiple homes and private jets), it also seems the American church is powerless. Our priorities seem wrong. And the focus on money just feels icky to me. Idolatrous, even.

There was a time in church history when money was something to be shared freely with those who had needs. It was at the very beginning. But it didn’t take long for that to be corrupted. Of course the Bible says “Money is the root of all of evil.” Right? Actually it doesn't. Because money in and of itself is not evil. Actually here’s what it says: “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs” (1Tim. 6:10). Unfortunately, I have witnessed this! It’s a very real danger, and this “love” can affect both rich and poor. What’s amazing, however, is when love of God and others eclipses our natural tendency to love money. It’s miraculous, really, especially here in the US! And it’s a freedom! Money CAN be a tool. A tool for loving God and others. A means to a much better end. See, it takes money to do ministry and missions. It always has—and it did in Acts.

We’ve been reading about the amazing first days and weeks of the church. After Jesus went up into heaven, the Holy Spirit came down to live in Jesus’ followers, giving them power (we who have received Christ have the Holy Spirit who lives in us, too!). We’ve seen the amazing life and growth of Christ’s church—which is simply the “called out” community forgiven sinners who have been made righteous through belief in Christ. Something happens when you are saved. God is your Father. That means other saved people are now your brothers and sisters, and you share a love that transcends all other human designations. That sense of family results in giving!  Look at Acts 4: 

³²Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common.  

As we’ve seen before, this isn’t communism or socialism—there’s no gov’t forcing people to give up their money—no mandated redistribution. No, you see, something happens when we surrender to God: we recognize that he owns everything. We find our greatest joy in bringing him glory. We want to be used by him. It’s not my stuff anymore, it’s his. So when I see a need and the Holy Spirit urges me to give toward that need, it’s my joy to do so. Extrapolate that to a whole community of surrendered, transformed people, and it’s remarkable what happens!

³³And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. ³⁴There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold ³⁵and laid it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. 

This is what happens when a large group of people are regenerated. Notice several things: 1.) Poverty is eradicated. Why? Because Holy Spirit-filled people offer loving hands up to those who are down and offer instruction in wisdom and accountability.  2.) Those who have been blessed with extra give with joy. They realize they can’t take it with them, and others’ good becomes more important than selfish gain. 3.) There was trust in the leadership. The phrase, “laid it at the apostles’ feet,” is an idiom that simply means they humbly gave up control to the leaders whom they trusted would be good stewards. Notice the leaders were a plurality. Notice the leaders distributed it according to need. These are all good things. 

Next, Luke shows us two examples of people who gave. The first is a good example. The second...not so good. I think this is going to really help us (21^st century Americans) as we grow in this whole understanding of spiritual growth and generosity.  

³⁶Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, ³⁷sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles' feet. 

Several observations here: Luke wants us to see some things about Joseph. He has a nickname: Barnabas. He was one of those guys who was always positive and encouraging. Have you ever known anyone like that? I have. Barnabas was a Levite. That’s the priestly tribe, which means he was born to be a priest. It doesn’t take much imagination to compare him to a preacher’s kid today. An interesting thing about Levites, according to the Old Testament they weren’t supposed to own property! But Barnabas apparently did. Hmm. Could it be that he was the rebellious priest’s kid who lived in Cyprus, an island in the Mediterranean, who had perhaps fled his duty in order to seek wealth? And is it possible that meeting Jesus was the turning point—when he saw the vanity of pursuing worldly gain and the glory of being on mission with Jesus? I think it’s plausible! 

That’s the good example. 

But the LOVE of money is A root of all KINDS of evil, isn’t it? And we’re going to see that in the next example. And with it we will witness the death of feel-good Christianity, and the end of innocence in this Jesus-movement we call the church.

Acts 5: ¹But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, ²and with his wife's knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles' feet [as if he was bringing the whole amount—as we will see]. ³But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? ⁴While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to man but to God.” 

It’s obvious here that Ananias was dishonest about his gift. He had heard about guys like Barnabas and wanted to be seen as spiritual (and wealthy)! He went to some lengths to raise his reputation in this popular new movement. For the sake of illustration, let's say he sold the property for $50k and pretended to only have sold it for $20k, keeping $30k for himself! Peter said he didn’t have to sell it in the first place, and when he did he could have kept the money! See, it was the hypocrisy that angered God, just as it greatly angered Jesus (see Luke 11:37–54, 20:45-47, Matthew 23:1–39, and Mark 12:35–40). And God made an example of him.

⁵When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last. [Whoa!] And great fear came upon all who heard of it. [I bet!] ⁶The young men rose and wrapped him up and carried him out and buried him. 

What if that happened today?! What if every time a church-goer pretended to be spiritual they fell down dead? It might wipe some churches out! Meanwhile, Sapphira, has been at the mall spending some of that $30k.

⁷After an interval of about three hours his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. ⁸And Peter said to her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for so much.” And she said, “Yes, for so much.” ⁹But Peter said to her, “How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out.” ¹⁰Immediately she fell down at his feet and breathed her last. When the young men came in they found her dead, and they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. 

What we have here is the first-ever scandal in the church! It’s really disappointing isn’t it? Scandal always is. I’ve been watching the Brett Kavanaugh hearings. It is such a disappointment to see the politicization and corruption of the senate judiciary committee and the media covering it. The whole thing has been a travesty. It makes me lose faith in our government. The effect is the same when scandal and corruption happen in the church. That's why God makes an example of these dishonest actors and first hypocrites in the church.  

¹¹And great fear came upon the whole church and upon all who heard of these things. I bet! 

What’s the big take away? 

If you don’t sell your property and give it ALL to the church, you’ll die. 

No.

Let me put it more accurately like this: 

If you love your image or your money more than God 

you will spend eternity in hell.  

It’s true. Jesus taught this. A lot. Like in Mark 8:36 when he said, "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?"

So what?

1. Respond well to scandal. 

People are thrown by scandal, and that’s exactly why Satan loves it so much. Don’t let scandal cause you to lose faith in the church. There are churches in town that have been rocked by scandal, and I pray that God will preserve us from it. 
But I’m not naïve. We, too, are susceptible. Because we human beings are sinful. Sometimes God allows scandal to purify his church. I pray that’s what’s happening in the Catholic church, and that God will reform the culture of abuse—perhaps even show them the root problem: adding to the Bible things like requiring priests to be celibate and elevating clergy authority. Prov. 30:6 “Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.” But we protestants can’t cast stones. We have our share of scandals. Acts is proof that scandal will come—the big question is how we handle it? How about we do it like Peter: with truth and humility. He simply and publicly told the truth. There was no cover-up. Then humility gripped everyone as “great fear came upon the whole church.” Fear can be good! God sometimes makes examples of people and I don’t want to be one. I want to be wise and learn from the lessons of others with fear in my heart!

2. See money as a tool with which to worship and serve God.

Money is to be a means to and end, not an end in itself. Some people think God is a means to money. No. That just indicates that money is your God! But God sees money as a means —a tool to worship and serve God. You know what’s crazy? That’s actually how you can find real blessing! I’m not talking about more money (although that happens too, sometimes). I’m talking about satisfaction money can’t buy. I’m talking about real joy! But when you worship money and possessions, you find emptiness. Money is a terrible god. It will destroy your family, your friendships, and your heart...before sending you to hell. I’ve seen it! Some of you have some money. Do you think God gave it to you for you to enrich yourself? Or so that you can be a part of his mission? You will find joy when you see (and experience) the latter! Specifically? Once you find a church led by a plurality of honest and godly leaders, release control of that money to be used for ministry and missions. “But," you might be thinking, "I won’t get credit for helping people myself, through my own goodness.” Yep. And that gives God credit. And that's the point. 

And by the way, God doesn’t want your money. He wants what it represents. He wants you. 

3. Have a sincere, unpretentious, honest faith. 

I regret that I have to say this, but that doesn’t excuse unchristlike behavior. I’ve heard people say, “I’m just going to be real” and then take license to cuss, or to be crude, or justify gossip, or a certain view on sex. Not cool. It's not what Christ wants. Absolutely not. What this does mean is being transparent. When you mess up, own it. When a blind spot is revealed to you, ask the Holy Spirit to fill you and help you overcome. When you commit sin, repent. When you struggle with discouragement, tell someone. More importantly, tell God. In the south we fear sincerity because we don’t really want to change what’s wrong about our lives. We want to pretend it doesn’t exist. In our social media culture we present this image of perfection because we worship ourselves, not God, who alone is perfect. Aren’t you tired of playing games? I’ve got news…you can’t play games with God. So why try? Don’t you appreciate it when someone confesses sin and shows honesty about their mistakes? Why don’t you do this—whether others appreciate it or not. 

Know that God does. And he’s the one who really matters.

Persecution is Confirmation

I remember the first time I experienced persecution. It was nothing like what people in other parts of the world face. It was really nothing much at all. I was 17. I didn’t do anything like take a stand for Jesus publicly (that happened later). I just stopped doing the things my friends were doing. God had convicted me of sin and I was tired of compromise. You know, going to the parties, using the language, making fun of others, laughing at the jokes, and basically going along with all the things I knew weren’t right. It didn’t take long for my "friends" to notice. I remember a girl telling me I wasn’t fun any more. I realized I was no longer in on the jokes, I was the brunt of them. One morning I opened my locker to get my books when I noticed everyone laughing. Then I saw that someone had taped a porn magazine centerfold inside my locker door. Yeah, that hurt. It got worse. My “friends” would sometimes dedicate songs on WOKI (Knoxville's popular top-40 radio station back then) to me like, “Goody two-shoes” and “Only the good die young.” I was hurt and mad. I remember telling my father about it wanting him to share my anger. He smiled and congratulated me! "I'm so proud of you, son! Persecution is Confirmation!" he said.

When was the first time you experienced persecution? What was it like? Let's remember what persecution is. Persecution is not just anything negative that happens to you. It's not (on the other extreme) only getting your head cut off by Isis, either. Persecution is taking a personal hit because of Jesus. And that's normative for the Christian experience. Paul wrote (2 Tim. 3:12), “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” Jesus said (John 15:20), “If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.”

Acts 4 begins with the pandemonium that ensued after Peter and John healed a man that everyone knew had been born with a severe disability. This miracle resulted in 5000 men believing and confessing Christ. As you might imagine, this got the attention of the elite Jewish establishment.
“The priests and the captain of the temple and the Sadducees came upon them, greatly annoyed because they were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection from the dead” (Acts 4:1-2). John and Peter were arrested and spent the night in jail. It was the first example of persecution in the church era. And it wasn't over. The next day the Sanhedrin—the same establishment power players that schemed to put Jesus to death a little over a month earlier—came together in court to determine what to do with these upstart interlopers. Think of how intimidating this must have been! “And when they had set them in the midst, they inquired, 'By what power or by what name did you do this?'” (Acts 4:7) They're wanting to know who gave them the right to do what they were doing. This was a bit of a trick question, because the only ones (they thought) who could give them the right were in that room! These guys were the establishment! Generations had worked to secure their power! Listen to the answer in Acts 4:8-11: "Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers of the people and elders, if we are being examined today concerning a good deed done to a crippled man, by what means this man has been healed, let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead—by him this man is standing before you well. This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone" (quoting Psalm 118:2). Now listen to his big ending in verse 12: “And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” Did you read what he said? There is no other name. No other way. He got what Jesus had taught. Like in John 14:6 "Jesus said, I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." There is no other way to get to God than through Jesus.

Well, the elitists were impressed (at least with their courage):

"Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus" (Acts 4:13). Wow. I want that to be said of me. Having been with Jesus overcomes any lack of intelligence, eloquence, or education. That's pretty great.

The Jewish leaders were stuck. They couldn't deny the great miracle that had taken place, but they had to somehow stem the growth of this movement. After deliberating, Acts 4:18-21 says they “charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered them,

“Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.' And when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding no way to punish them, because of the people, for all were praising God for what had happened.”

So, after a night in jail, a chance to proclaim Jesus to the most powerful Jews in the world, and having been threatened to stop talking about Jesus. How do you think they responded? How would you have responded?

Well, they went back to their friends—the other believers—the church, and told them what had happened. Then they all prayed together. They realized that this persecution is exactly what the Bible predicted would happen to the Messiah...and thus, to his followers. But they professed their trust in God who is in control of all things, and they asked God to "grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness" (Acts 4:29). What a prayer! There was no hint of growing faint. No possibility of retreat. “And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness” (4:30). Wow!

So what?
• Show you’ve been with Jesus. By your boldness & courage, or because of your faith that all will turn out ok. Or perhaps because of your integrity when everyone else is doing what’s wrong...or your uncommon love for people who are hard to like, or your kindness, or peace, or other fruits of the Spirit. Maybe you show Jesus in the way you work & give your all with honesty & excellence. Can people tell you’ve been with Jesus? They can if you’re filled with the Spirit. Ask him to fill you each day! Of course it helps if you actually spend time with him.

• Rejoice when you are persecuted! Jesus said (Mt.5:10-12) “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Rejoice with others. Persecution is confirmation...confirmation you really are a follower of Jesus.

• Pray for those who persecute you. They’re not rejecting you, they’re rejecting the Cornerstone. Less than two months earlier Jesus quoted the following to the same leaders who persecuted Peter and John: (Matthew 21:44) “The one who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; and when it falls on anyone, it will crush him.” There are consequences to rejecting Jesus. So pray for them!

• Be bold. Don't be a jerk or offensive. Don’t bait people. Those are different—and sinful. In 1 Peter 3:15, the same Peter wrote, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness & respect."  God will give you opportunities. Be prepared. He'll give you the words to say, and the courage to say it.

10 Reasons Why I Love Watching Baseball

A familiar sight: J.D. Martinez praising God upon 
rounding the bases after hitting a home run.

 

I’m making a confession: I love watching baseball. I have watched more this year than any other season in my life, primarily for three reasons: 1.) My favorite team, the Red Sox, are absolutely dominating Major League Baseball; 2.) I’ve got MLB.tv with our (minimal) cable package; and 3.) I had a sabbatical this summer that allowed me time to watch. There are a handful of things that cause me to relax and feel happy as soon as I start. Baseball is one of those things. It doesn’t matter if it’s on TV or live, the effect is the same. So I’ve been wondering, “Why do I love it so much?” On this short post, I’m going to attempt to make a list.

1. I so admire the skill it takes to play the game well. Whether it’s a high school game or the Sox, these athletes are just different from most others. They’re not the fastest, tallest, or strongest athletes in sports. But they are so specialized with certain skills, and could be among the smartest or quickest thinkers in the sports world. I was not a very good baseball player (probably due to that “smartest” thing), so that makes me even more impressed with these talented athletes.
2. It’s a thinker’s game. The rules are many and the strategy is multi-faceted. In many ways, it’s like chess with real people. It’s not just the coaches who must do most of the thinking. One small mental lapse from one player can cost the whole team a game. And often does. And it’s the only sport I know that keeps record of errors!

Who encapsulates class and courage more than Jackie?

3. There is an incredible appreciation for history and tradition. I love that the statistics are riddled with players from every decade from the last one-hundred-plus years. Very little rules have changed. The organ is the same. The uniforms are the same (including metal spikes). The bats are made of wood (I wish this were the case with all ages!). While watching I feel somehow connected with generations past.
4. It’s a game that is diverse. Baseball is no respecter of persons. You can be born in poverty in the Dominican Republic or be from a wealthy family in California. It’s the American pastime, but they play it from Japan to Cuba. I read that about 30% of MLB players were born outside the USA. You can be huge or diminutive in size. I love the diversity. Jackie Robinson. ‘Nuff said.

5. It’s a game that requires courage. You stand in the way of a hard ball coming at you at 100 mph. You sometimes have to dive to attempt a catch or slide head-first. The fights are few, but real. Please forgive me, but I love this part. There is a code of respect that demands repayment for those who do something dirty. Come in cleats up on a second baseman, and expect to get beaned when you get in the batter’s box. Then expect retaliation. And when the benches clear, it gets crazy! It’s a man’s world where pride and honor matter.
6. It offers a break from the usual stressors of life. There is just very little politics or cultural rot that spoils the experience. It occasionally happens, but for the most part people behave because they seem to be there to escape the societal noise, too. There seems to be fewer politically active players using their platform to make their causes known. I really don’t want to know about all their causes. I just want to watch baseball. I hope this doesn’t change.
7. It’s not as intense as other sports. Believe me, I love football. Grew up in a football coach’s home, played it for 13 years of my life, and have coached myself. But football is not relaxing to watch (or play). Basketball seems to stay intense the whole game—and especially the last two minutes (which takes a half-an-hour). But baseball has spurts of intense play and moments of incredible pressure interspersed with long periods of deliberate strategy and intermission. You can have ongoing conversations with others during a game. You can enjoy a hotdog, a pretzel, and eat a whole bag of peanuts, all while sitting down and without spilling your drink.
8. It’s like art marrying science. I almost want to call it beauty in motion. Especially at the professional level; the players catch, throw, and swing with such precision and finesse. They make plays together like a symphony. The mathematical unlikelihood of hitting a small, spinning, spherical baseball moving at 100 mph with a small cylindrical bat into a limited area of play without any of the nine opponents catching the ball…is just amazing in itself. And many players average getting a hit between 20 and 30 percent of the time (some even more)!
9. It is a study on persistence and consistency over time. You can have three terrible at-bats, but the fourth might be a home run. Then you can get in a slump for a few games followed by a hitting streak. Unlike football where you can’t really afford to lose more than one or two games (if that many when you’re in the SEC!), you can lose a lot of games, but if you consistently win more than you lose, you’re in good shape for the playoffs. It really is about who can do the best over the long-haul. A lot like life!
10. Baseball players are just cool. They seem so composed and unflappable. They will accomplish some seemingly impossible athletic feat and just carry on afterward with maybe a quick smile to a teammate. Awesome. I wish I could be so cool!

This one's just for fun. There's no spiritual lesson or observation here, except this: every good gift comes from God. I think baseball is one of those. At least it is to me.

Lessons From Sabbatical

Having been at Providence for over 21 years, I just finished my third sabbatical. As previously explained, sabbatical is a period of rest, research, and restoration for people in full-time ministry and other professions (like academia and counseling) so that they can avoid burnout and renew their creativity, passion, and effectiveness. Traditionally, a sabbatical occurs every seven years. The word comes from Sabbath (Greek, sabbaton; from the Hebrew, shabbath; lit. “rest”), which usually brings to mind the seventh day of the week, the biblical day of rest. Interestingly, the word is used for an entire year in Leviticus 25:1-5.

The Lord spoke to Moses on Mount Sinai, saying, “Speak to the people of Israel… For six years you shall sow your field, and for six years you shall prune your vineyard and gather in its fruits, but in the seventh year there shall be a Sabbath of solemn rest for the land, a Sabbath to the Lord. You shall not sow your field or prune your vineyard. You shall not reap what grows of itself in your harvest, or gather the grapes of your undressed vine. It shall be a year of solemn rest…”

It wasn’t just for the land, it was for those who worked the land (virtually everyone in that day). It’s a good idea. And I’m so happy that Providence instituted it for full-time ministry staff from the start.
When I’ve run into people from church this summer, I’ve frequently been asked, “How’s sabbatical going?” I try to give a short answer, like, “Great!” But it never seems to suffice. So here’s one that’s a little more complete with the top seven lessons I’ve learned from sabbatical this summer.

1. I needed some extended rest.
I’m sure there are some who decry a long break (we provide a month after seven years, and two

Darla & I in a gloating selfie after breaking the paddleball record.
The beach was great (um, after the tropical storm that hit us hard)!

months every seven thereafter). I understand the sentiment. In fact you might be saying, “I’ve been working in my job for 20 (30, 40, whatever) years and haven’t taken so much as a vacation!” While that’s a little extreme (someone actually told me this!), the truth is I understand the skepticism of those who have never had a long break from work. I could absolutely do that too because I love my job! In fact, I kind of let this sabbatical sneak up on me and had to pry my fingers away from doing ministry at Providence. It took me about two weeks to just relax and stop thinking about all the things I needed to do.
Let me say it plainly: I needed this long break. Unknowingly, my attitude, focus, and energy was being affected by what has been an unrelenting last few years, the last one in particular. As the weeks wore on this summer, I could feel my brain decompress. I found myself reinvigorated for my calling and job. If you’re struggling, maybe you need a long break too.

Here's what it looks like today.

2. Building a house is not easy. 
Ok, so I already knew that. Let’s just say that Darla and I are learning this lesson even more! After unexpectedly selling our house and unsuccessfully looking for another, we decided (after a whole lot of praying and seeking wise counsel) in June to bite this thing off and build ourselves, so we bought some property near Edgemoor Road, about 15 minutes from Providence. Whew! Making decisions, finding and scheduling subs, and getting all the details worked out is why people wisely pay contractors. And we’ve really only just begun. Seriously, we feel like we're learning a whole new trade (and I guess we actually are).

Here's the goal!

I’ve also met some good people who I would have never met otherwise and have had some great spiritual conversations. I'm super thankful for friends who are helping us and for Darla who is doing most of the contracting (especially now that I have to go back to work)! She's really organized and I'm good at shooting the bull. A great combo!!

3. Writing a book is real work. 
I’m not a writer so maybe it’s just me, but this task is HARD. I spent several days this summer researching and writing about my dad. It is exhausting! And I feel the proverbial mountain I have to climb to get this book written just keeps getting higher as I write.

A 38-year-old Ken Sparks

Some of the hardest parts include these three: 1) interviewing key people who have first-hand accounts, 2) working through the piles of articles, videos, and statistics to find what I need; and 3) fact-checking all the stuff, especially regarding some of the important games I think need to be described (probably not for the reasons you think!). And it’s emotional for me! I can watch a video on him and be in tears.
The next one is related…

4. I’m reminded how blessed I am for the earthly father God gave me. 
Ken Sparks was a great man. He lived and died well. I pray I can be a steward of his legacy and be like him in so many ways.

5. It's great to see what other churches are doing. 

This is a church in Georgia that has a similar mission & vision
as Providence that we visited. And yes, that's Dara leading!

I got to visit a wide variety (regarding style, tradition, and size) of churches this summer. All of them hold to God’s Word as true, all were fantastic (I tend to not be critical), and I learned things from each of them. I collected lots of printed material, shot lots of pictures and video, and made lots of notes. It seems I always heard from God when I went to worship, regardless of the church. That in itself is a lesson! I love that God uses so many churches who do things so differently to reach all kinds of people. I felt kinship with them all. I look forward to discussing with our staff and elders some of the things I experienced that might help us be better at Providence.
But all that visiting other churches makes the next lesson I learned even clearer...

6. I love Providence Church more than I ever knew.
I really do. The church is a group of redeemed people who have covenanted together to accomplish a mission. I love our people. I love our covenant together. I love our mission. I feel more committed to Providence than ever before! The really cool thing is that our church grew (over last year’s numbers) while I’ve been away! That shows what I already knew: Providence (unlike some churches) is about much more than merely following a man (unless the man is Jesus!). There aren't many pastors who stay at churches for 21 years (my 101-year-old grandmother who was a pastor's wife is still amazed), and there are even fewer who can honestly say that there's no church in the world where they'd rather serve than the one they're at. I'm so grateful. I can't think of a godlier group of elders, I can't think of a better staff, and I can't imagine a better group of people than those at Providence. What an awesome spiritual family I have! I have missed being with my church this summer...a lot!

7. I love my wife profoundly. 
Of course, I already knew this. But this break has given us significant time together. I’ve never gotten tired of her and she never gets on my nerves (I don’t think she could say the same of me!). As cliched as it sounds, she really is my best friend. We laugh together a lot. We are totally on the same page spiritually. We work well together and compliment each other’s giftedness. She has been through more hard times in the last year than any other year in our lives, and has come through looking even more like Jesus. I am amazed by her and more in love with her than ever. I made a great choice 29 years ago to ask her to be my wife. I had no idea how great. God had something (read: everything) to do with that.

There were many more lessons learned that I could tell you about like, "Life is possible without social media," "Sugar-free gummies cause violent stomach problems," "The beach isn't fun in tropical storms," "Extroverts need people around," "Abstaining from reading/watching news makes you happier," "Beagles like skunks," and "Ticks & mosquitoes suck" (there are stories for all of these!). And many other good things happened this summer. Among them, I read some good books, hiked some great hikes, made some great new friends, ate some good food, caught up on sleep, got to watch a lot of baseball, and (most importantly) spent some great time with Jesus. Thank you Providence, for allowing me to have this time!

We've Moved!

Well, kinda. I'm still at Providence, we're still in West Knoxville (actually Farragut instead of Karns now), but we're not finished moving. That's because through a crazy set of circumstances we've decided to build a house.

Here's the story...well, first some backstory:

From the time our middle child, Duncan, left for college almost five years ago, all our kids started telling us we needed to sell our house in Karns and downsize or get out in the country or buy an older house with more character or something. We just laughed, because we didn't have any desire to move, much less take on a fixer-upper project. Besides, why did they want us to sell the house in which they grew up? Go figure. So through continued prodding, we tippy-toed into the idea, thinking how it would be nice to have a smaller home, or a house away from a major highway, or something with a big garage where I can work on stuff. This curiosity gained momentum as Darla started seeing how much houses were selling for and some of the cool places she found on realty websites (like Zillow, etc.). Many of you may be familiar with this phenomenon. Once the train gets moving in that direction...I think you get my point. For the whole beginning part of this pursuit, I was dubious and unenthusiastic about moving. Secretly, however, I was thinking about all the appliances that were wearing out in our house that needed to be replaced. I was thinking about how every surface needed to be upgraded and about all the repairs that were needed. And it WOULD be nice to have a decent garage! So the song goes.

Long story short...we put the house up for sale and asked a reasonable price that I believed did not need to be lower. Good friends were our realtors, and they almost immediately got a bite. This older couple from out-of-town who had great credit wanted it—especially the wife. "Whoa! Are we really doing this?" I asked. They signed a contract and so began all the (many) inspections for their VA loan. Meanwhile, we started scrambling to find something. Truth is, we saw that our house wasn't so bad after all, and that it would be extremely hard to find something already built that we would be happy with. After looking at several different houses we were not feeling good. One of the most difficult things (and kinda funny) is that Darla kept extending the search area. So after praying about it (seriously) I gave her a limit. Any house we consider must be LESS than 20 minutes from Providence. For the next month, she almost daily sent me listings of houses that were 26 minutes, 23 minutes, 21, 25...you get the point. We had some stress in our marriage over it! Virtually every time she called me and said, "I may have found us a house!" I would reply, "How far from Providence is it?" and she would avoid the question and say something about it that she knew I'd like. "It's got a great garage!" "But how far is it from the church?" It would drive her (and me) crazy! Then, of course, we would find something we liked but it would be way over our price range. I would remind her of that and she would get frustrated. I think our wonderful realtors were getting frustrated with me too (although they promise they were not)! Truth is, I would have been frustrated with me!

Thankfully the couple wanting to buy our house backed out, citing one of the inspectors who had pointed out some minor things that they didn't even ask if we'd fix. They probably just found something they wanted more. Whew! I loved our neighborhood and neighbors, I liked our pretty private back yard, and I like Karns—a community that we had been a part of for 21 years! In my mind, this was all God telling us, "I don't want you to move." We happily decided to stay. Good thing, too, because my Dad soon became very sick and passed away a few months later, and several other things happened that made 2017 an extremely hard year.

But God was really saying, "I don't want you to move...YET."

So now, here's the story.

Over a year later, we were at church on Christmas Eve, when after the service a couple we love approached us and asked, "Y'all wouldn't be willing to sell us your house, would you?" We had invited them over for dinner many months earlier and we may have mentioned at the time that our kids wanted us to move. They told us they loved our house and yard and neighborhood, that their daughter went to school at GCA which is one mile away, and that they had been looking for a house to no avail. "Would y'all just give us a price?" 

Later that week, we invited them over to talk, we agreed on a price and it was done. 

Meanwhile, another good friend who goes to Providence was looking for land upon which to build a house, and found some that had been for sale and tied up in a complex family for years. He began to work hard to clear the obstacles and made an offer to the family to buy the land. He had mentioned it to me back when we were looking to move. We mused about how great it would be to be neighbors (he also likes to work on cars) and how nice the land was (woods two miles from Providence!) and other stuff. But after the sale of our house fell through, the idea faded. But he was still working on it. Months later his efforts paid off and the family sold him the land. Not knowing what was going on with us, he asked me if I thought I'd ever want to revisit that idea to build on some land. I said, "Actually, funny that you should ask..." and told him what happened. That all transpired (I may have gotten some details out of order) WITHIN ONE WEEK! Now Dara, our youngest, had just moved to college and we were empty-nesters. 

But building a house is expensive and we can't build one in a couple of months (when we'd have to get out of the house). So we asked another couple in our church who "just happened" to have bought a project house as an investment that they didn't have specific plans for yet, if they would consider renting it to us. They graciously said they would. This also happened that same week! I'm noticing a theme here, are you? Yes, that's how it seemed to us, that God was indicating it was time.

Again, long story short, we had a HUGE moving sale to off-load all the junk we (like most American families) had acquired as three kids had grown up,  closed on the house, and moved out to our temporary home in Farragut. 

As we pursued purchasing the property two miles from the church, things were becoming a bit tangled, and it had to do with some deed restrictions, neighbors, uncertainty about a graveyard on the property and encroaching Hardin Valley development. Also, our good friend, who was wonderfully helpful (and rather surprised that we were really going to take him up on his offer), was sweating whether or not we were going to be able to do it for a reasonable price and in a reasonable timeframe, as the restrictions hindered our plans.

As we were feeling (for the first time) a little hesitation about the plan, Darla looked on Zillow again. And wouldn't you know it? She hit paydirt. Or, um, dirt we would pay for. Yes, she found a piece of property, 15-17 minutes from Providence (about the same time-of-drive we had from Karns), that was like a little slice of my beloved Jefferson County home! It has a long access to a country road just off of Old Emory Road, just outside Knox County near Oak Ridge (but is actually a Clinton address). We prayed and researched and prayed some more. We found a house plan we like that is smaller than the house we had (3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths, instead of 5 bedrooms+1 bonus and 4 baths). And hopefully I'll get my garage workspace!! 

Oh, and one more "God-timing" thing? This "just happens" to be the year I have a sabbatical, which gives me some much-needed flexibility this summer to get things started.

Ok, here's the quick "So what?": God's timing is right. He is sovereign. As his children, we are wise to simply ask him to show us his pleasure and will. Then, once we recognize and diligently test it, we should move. Sometimes literally! 

"But," someone might ask, "what if you get neck-deep in this build and the economy stumbles and/or Providence decides they want a different pastor and/or you and/or Darla get sick and/or you realize you can't afford this home and/or..." Yep. We've struggled with some of those questions and more. Discerning God's will for something as this-worldly as where we will live is no exact science. It's not like discerning whether God wants me to cheat on my wife (his word is quite clear about that). It's more like applying points of biblical wisdom: will this help/hurt me minister to the Providence flock? Is this unreasonable or enslaving debt? Is this a good investment? Are we motivated by pride or self in this? Or are we motivated by bringing glory to God? Are we placing our hope and desire on this world or the next? These are the important questions that matter. 

I'll try to give updates as we work on our new house. Pray that God will help us be good stewards of what he's given us and listen to his wisdom.

Worshiping on Sabbatical

Laurel-covered cliffs atop Mt. Le Conte.

Thankfully, our church has a policy allowing full time ministry staff to take significant time for rest and restoration every seven years. I am very grateful. I've been at Providence 21 years and am surprised at how much I needed this break. We went to the beach first, then we came home for a week to start building a new house (crazy story about how/why we moved—maybe later!) and then left to go camping in Miss Daisy. We just got back. I've been away long enough now to shed some anxiety that I didn't know I was living in. Do fish know they're in water when that's where they live? And THAT'S why we have sabbatical.

One of the activities I have gotten to do again (in addition to blogging!) is to worship with Christians other than those at Providence Church. So far, I haven't gone to any big hip or happening churches about which everyone is all abuzz. That's what I usually do so I can learn about what new stuff they are doing. Instead, among those I've attended are a small church in Port St. Joe Florida, Providence Jefferson City (a church we planted years ago), and a service at the campground amphitheater led by a college student with A Christian Ministry in the National Parks (ACMNP) at Elkmont. All these worship experiences have been great for me and I could write a post on each of them. But I want to say a little bit about the latter.

Friends, family, and dogs just behind our site.

It rained for parts of most of the days we camped, and Sunday was no different. It had already showered Sunday morning when the student with ACMNP passed by our site while we ate breakfast and told us about the service. We had already talked about going, but hadn't seen any signs that services were happening. We walked to the amphitheater for the 10 AM service and there was only one other camper there, so we took a seat on our raincoats. Then others trickled in—people from New York to Mississippi—about 20 total (not counting the big dog someone brought). The sun peeked through the clouds. Emily, the college student who invited us a couple of hours earlier was the only leader. She welcomed everyone, passed out worship booklets, strapped on a guitar and invited everyone to stand and sing with her. It was a contemporary hymn by the Gettys. No microphone, lights, projector... nothing. We did some responsive reading, sang another song, and she seated everyone asking us to turn to 1Kings 19. She read the familiar passage about Elijah fleeing from Jezebel after defeating the prophets of Baal, and then hitting a wall of exhaustion and discouragement. He just wanted to die. God provided an angel to prepare food for him and told him to eat "for the journey is too great for you." Elijah then walked 40 days to "the mountain of God" and hid in a cave where God finally spoke. "What are you doing here, Elijah?" God asked.

As soon as I read this along with Emily, I almost broke out in tears, which caught me by surprise. The rest of the world went away and [in my heart] God asked me the same question. "What are you doing here, Chad?" It's amazing, the power of God's word, especially when read with other believers gathered to hear from God. I realized God was speaking to me. I, like Elijah, was tired, discouraged, and even after experiencing some ministry success, felt despair after difficulty has come my way. I felt like a failure and I hadn't even acknowledged it. "What AM I doing?" I thought. For that moment I didn't have an answer.

A little wooden bridge across the Little River near Elkmont.

Elijah then spoke for me. “I have been very jealous [some translations: "zealous"] for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” Now, obviously, no one is wanting to kill me (that I know about!). But despite zeal for Christ I have experienced unrivaled spiritual warfare in my life over the past year. And it is lonely. And everything in me has wanted to give up at times. And sometimes it can feel like no one understands. And God doesn't seem to be acting.

God told Elijah to step outside the cave, and we know what happened next:

 And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.         

1Kings 19:11-12 

Then God asked again, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" Elijah answered just as before, yet perhaps this time (I have imagined) much more softly and contemplatively. I too thought about his [and my] answer more. It seems shallower and more self-focused this time. Here is God who had graciously called Elijah [and me] to serve him. Here is God who had showed up before the prophets of Baal showing his unmistakable presence and power. Here is God who had used Elijah, promoted Elijah, hidden Elijah, and fed Elijah (just as he has me). Now God, like a gentle Father spends time with Elijah reminding him of his power yet speaking to him with tenderness and concern.

Emily's message was much more a devotional than a sermon. It was reminiscent of the kind of talk I've heard numerous times from students who were fairly new to the faith and the Bible. She gave some brief context and then simply shared her take on the story, meshing it with her own journey. She reminded us that sometimes when we experience hard times in the busy-ness of life it takes getting alone with God on the mountain to hear him whisper. Yeah, it was that simple...and great. We sang another song and cited a creed. Darla and I greeted some worshipers (and the dog) and walked back to our camp site. I remembered the rest of the story. Elijah left that experience with specific instructions from God to anoint new kings for Syria and Israel, and anoint a prophet to replace himself. God was about to move by replacing the current political and religious leadership. And things weren't as bad as Elijah thought. God told him, “I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” Effectively saying, "I've been at work, Elijah. You're not alone, and the story doesn't begin or end with you." Elijah did much more before God took him into heaven in a whirlwind with chariots of fire—one of only two people in human history who never died physically.

Dara and I on a climb.

Yes, ministry is taxing—thank you God (and Providence) for some needed time at the "mountain of God"—the journey IS too great for me. Yes, it's easy to be self-focused instead of God-focused which results in stress and loneliness. Yes, God is at work, whether we see him or not.  And yes, God cares for his children as a loving and gentle Father: whispering, encouraging, reminding, strengthening, and using us for his glory.

Ha! I guess I needed four "so whats" for myself.

I miss worshiping with my Providence family. It is always one of the hardest things about being on sabbatical because I LOVE Providence. I love listening to the podcasts of the services. But God is using my time away in many ways including speaking through different gatherings of Christians and his word to me.