"Eventful" Is An Understatement

I'm a pretty sorry blogger. But if I've ever had an excuse for not writing new posts, 'tis now. In the last few weeks my father quickly declined and passed away, my daughter's boyfriend asked our permission to propose to her and they were engaged, and I turned 50! I've also been writing in hopes of one day publishing a book about my father. All of this is in addition to pastoring and teaching at Providence Church!
I'm not seeking sympathy. In fact, I'm a little concerned that I'm feeling as upbeat as I do!

Big sister Duncan on the left in 2004 at age 8. Big
time daddy's girl. Now she's getting married.

I have always dreaded the day my little girl would be engaged to be married. I'm the guy that has always had to turn off the radio when any of the many songs like "Butterfly Kisses" comes on. I just can't hardly bear to think of it. But God is so gracious. My daughter, Duncan, couldn't have found a better guy. Ben Davenport is the one for whom I've been praying for over 21 years, since when we found out that Darla was pregnant with a little girl. Ben is humble and loves Jesus more than anything else. His character is strong. He loves and esteems Duncan and treats her with the utmost of respect and gentleness. He's a hard worker and is honest to a fault (if that's possible). When I say "Duncan couldn't have found a better guy," I truly mean, God found Ben for her. She has always had extremely high standards for guys, hardly dating at all in high school, and has taken some ribbing from friends for that reason. Ben is why girls are wise to be picky. When I say he's "the one for whom I've been praying," I mean he's not just that future husband "somewhere out there" who I prayed for, but he's the kind of man for whom I've been praying for my daughter.

Duncan and I at the beach.

I pray (and did again even now) for the woman who God has for Drew, and the man God has for Dara. Far more important than getting our kids through college and on their way to a healthy and financially stable and happy life, is that they marry godly people. This is, from a worldly perspective, the single most important factor that determines all the rest. I believe God is in control of this and that they, by yielding their lives to him–trusting him with all their hearts, he will "direct [their] path." And it is true for anyone.
So I am joyful in my heart about Duncan's engagement.

Coach Ken Sparks with his
game face circa 1988.
I was playing at CN during this time.

My father's decline and death was a seismic event in my life. He has been without a doubt the most influential person in the world to me. Even in his last month, I watched him continue to grow closer to Christ. He read a book about heaven. He wanted to talk with me about dying well. He wanted to work on a book about how the Gospel had changed him and others through him. He told me of how he understood the sovereignty of God more than he ever had and talked about God's perfect purpose and will. And he wanted to go to be with Jesus. The last three or four days of his life were brutal. He was so weak. He couldn't even turn on his side or sit up by himself. He was trapped in a body. But despite his pain and helplessness, he still exhibited the fruit of the Spirit. My phone was accidentally silenced when Carol (my stepmother) called me to tell me he had passed away. She tried several times early that Tuesday morning. She finally called Darla who told me. Upon hearing, I was immediately thankful and relieved. A couple of days beforehand, I had begun praying that God would take him because he was suffering and wanted to be with Christ so desperately. God answered.

My dad, sister, and I in August 1971. That's
our red 1968 Volkswagen dad bought new
that later became my first car.

The funeral was all good. After the private burial with family and his coaches and their families, we had the longest receiving of friends I've ever seen! An exhausting four-and-a-half hours. My feet were killing me! Dad had asked me to do the funeral. You can see it here. Other than a very brief battle with emotion in the first few minutes of the sermon, I never struggled or cried. Still haven't! I have felt a little guilty about this. "Why have I not broken down and shed tears about my dad's passing?" I have asked myself. Well, because I've had almost five years to say goodbye. And because I know how ready he was to see Christ. As long as I can remember, he has been talking about that day when he would "shed his earth suit." Well, that earth suit was ready to be shed, let me tell you.
The last thing I said to my dad was, "I love you." And the last thing he said to me was, "I love you too." I am profoundly grateful God let me be his son. I want to live up to his example.

Turning 50 is no big deal. It's kinda fun to joke about. I got my AARP card. Funny, I got one when I turned 20 for some reason, so I guess Darla's right that I've been kind of like a senior adult for 30 years now! Truth is, I feel great, I lost 35 pounds about two years ago and have kept it off, and I've been running since my dad's death. Someone said I looked frail. Frail?! Perhaps flabby or funny or fifty, but frail?! That's a first, and it kinda hurt a little. I haven't run in several months, so I decided it was time. Sadly, I didn't even own a pair of shorts I could run in! All I had were either too big or the elastic was worn out. My shoes are so out of style. My over-sized sweats hang off my body like I'm a kid wearing my father's sweat suit (actually it is a sweat suit my dad gave me). Running isn't very fun when you're out of shape. I'm past the soreness stage, now I'm just trying to increase mileage (I can run about two miles right now) and make it worth the effort. When I get to where I can run six miles, I might be able to eat about anything I want (that seriously motivates me)!
I remember not too long ago when 50 seemed so over-the-hill! I came to Providence as a 29-year-old and our oldest member was 50!! Wow. It doesn't feel that old to me. I just embrace it. I'm happy. I just pray that God will perhaps help me overcome some of my long-time hangups and struggles and favorite sins. I want to be more like him. I want to be useful to him. I'm not really wanting to live too long, however. My grandmother turned 100 in February, and I really don't think I want to live that long. And having watched my dad decline, I'd rather not die slowly from cancer. I think I'd like to go quickly, perhaps on my knees shouting "Jesus is Lord" as an Isis swordsman beheads me. That would be better. Until then, I just want to be faithful and consistent and ever-growing closer to Jesus.

Blessed = Love Radically

If Jesus' "Sermon on the Plain" would have had a title, I think he would have called it, "How to be Blessed."

He started off (as we have observed) by deconstructing what most people think "blessed" means. 

Jesus said that the poor, hungry, weeping, and those hated for his sake are blessed, and that the rich, full, laughing, and popular are to be pitied. This is pretty much opposite of what the world says. But if you live long enough and aren’t too blind to see it, you’ll find Jesus is right and the world is wrong. If you climb the world's ladder you'll one day realize it's leaning against the wrong wall. What you will have as a result is misery: nothing meaningful in this life, and hell for eternity. 

Don’t drink the Kool-Aid. 

"But we live in this world. How can we keep ourselves from being influenced?" There are two choices: 

We can live defensively OR we can go on offense. 

Living defensively is an attempt at isolationism and protectionism from the world. An extreme example of this is the Amish. We all try to preserve our kids' innocence (for good reason), but let's not take it so far as to create a separate, Christian counter-culture that hides in fear of evil's onslaught. Is this how we should relate to the world and its temptation? I don't think so. There's nothing wrong with Christian music, movies, books, schools, t-shirts, or supporting Christian businesses. But if we attempt to surround ourselves in a Christian bubble to not have to deal with the world, we are missing our calling. Christ left heaven and became flesh to live among us in the world, in order to save the world...and then commissioned us to do the same. 

We are to "overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). God wants us not to retreat in isolation and fear, but to be on offense (not "offensive"), be proactive, positive. Jesus said, "I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). Hell is on defense, as the church moves irresistibly forward. This is Christ’s strategy, and it is summed up in one single idea. That same idea is the underlying, foundational principle of Christianity—a principle that makes Jesus’ “blessed” living not just possible, but a natural lifestyle. Truth is, there’s no other philosophy or religion like Christianity because of this foundational principle—and it is the simple secret to absolute happiness. What’s more? It is also the highest attribute of God and the key component of God’s strategy to save the world including why he created the world (and us) in the first place. Everything in the Bible & Christianity (including how to live it) stems from this principle.

What is this principle? 

Radical Love.

In Luke 6, Jesus said,  ²⁷“But I say to you who hear, (Greek=akouousin- not just passive physical hearing, but listening closely for comprehension, to hear with your heart) Love (Greek=agapaō, the verb form of agapē, the highest form of love.) 

This is the first time (of many) that Luke uses this very important word. It appears Luke introduces it here strategically, like he’s been waiting in order to first build the backstory about Jesus. Now Jesus is wildly popular, and speaking to this huge crowd, he gets their attention with the blessings & woes, which turned on its ear everything we think about being happy, and everyone’s kind of puzzled… then he gives them the key to everything. 

My paraphrase of verse 27a:

Now…if you will really LISTEN, I say to you: LOVE... 

It’s extreme love. Radical love. Agapē. That's the key to blessedness, the foundational principle of Christianity, and the chief attribute of God. And it is the motive behind God's mission.

Often I explain at weddings the four Greek words translated "love": phileō (brotherly/friendship love), storgē (familiarity/loyalty/preferential love), eros (sexual love), and agapē. Agapē is already the highest word for love, it is used to describe God's love for us that he would give his Son, and Jesus' love for us that he would lay down his life. It is selfless and sacrificial love. And it's for the unlovable. Listen to how extreme:

...love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 

Wow. That’s extreme. There is no other religion that teaches this. He continues... 

Turn the other cheek. One of the hardest things Jesus said—for
me, anyway.

²⁹To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. ³⁰Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 

Who does this?! Does this sound like the way people around you act? Is this how even Christians around you act? Unfortunately, no. 

Here’s the summary:

³¹And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. 

The golden rule. It's the hardest thing to teach your kids, but so true. Whoever returns good for bad wins! SelfISHness is our natural response. SelfLESSness is God’s way. It’s love. It wins. Jesus continues:

³²“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. ³³And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. ³⁴And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. ³⁵But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. ³⁶Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

With this one word, agape, Jesus reveals the central unifying principle for the Christian faith, philosophy, and ethic; and he also reveals the dominant character of God. 

RADICAL LOVE is the principle that will change the world and is what will give you great lasting joy, contentment, and happiness. It is the driving factor of blessedness. 

No other philosophy or religion has this as its basic tenet. Do you know of one? Islam? No. it’s central tenant is Obedience. Buddhism and Hinduism? They're complicated, but suffice it to say they're totally based on selfishness. They're about seeking nirvana (called other things depending on the tradition) through self-discipline, pleasure, and enlightenment (among other things). Judaism? While there are veiled references and glimpses, the principle of love is not made clear until Jesus, who completed and fulfilled it. What IS prominent in the Old Testament is the worship of God and obedience to his law (a focus on God's righteousness and justice). But it’s obedience that we CANNOT achieve on our own. Then Jesus came. Through him we see that everything—even our sin—was a part of God’s plan: to reveal agapē love and to share it with us. Only those who surrender to him experience it—and we get to experience it forever. But before “forever” we can experience a life of blessedness, contentment, happiness, fulfillment, joy. 

God sent Jesus to tell us about it. That alone was an act of love. But he did more. He applied it to himself: John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” And then God the Son backed up his words with action. Rom. 5:8 “God demonstrates his love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

When he died, he did just as he told us to do in the sermon on the plain: Jesus loved his enemies—us—and he loved radically, selflessly, and sacrificially.

Yes, when Jesus died he paid for the sins of those who would believe and receive him. But he also changed us. We are reborn. His Spirit lives inside. We now love him with eternal gratitude which only grows as we understand his grace more. This changes us—LOVE changes our lives. 

This love is not some culturally-popular, watered-down, touchy-feely, sentimental understanding of love. It is not tolerance, indulgence or permissiveness. That's not love at all. A permissive parent doesn’t demonstrate love, but laziness and weakness. Permissive parents are selfish and raise miserable kids. That’s not love. Love often takes thoughtfulness and courage (more later!). 

God’s love for us evokes in us a love for him. That’s the greatest commandment: LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Then then next: Love your neighbor. That, according to Jesus, is the summary of the law. And it’s the framework for Christian ethics.

So what?

1. Realize that God is love. 

1 John 4:8 and 16 both say, "God is love" (agapē). Of all his attributes this is prominent. Yes, he is just, righteous, all-powerful, and omniscient. Without love God is to be feared. But his love is more. It is radical. 

2. Recognize his plan to show love to you. God's story since creation, including our sin, culminating with Jesus (and even YOUR own personal story)—all of it is a part of his sovereign plan to show you his love!
Galatians 4:4-7 ⁴But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, ⁵to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. ⁶And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” ⁷So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

Ephesians 2:4-7 ⁴But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—⁶and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

3. Receive his love by believing and surrendering.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." That's all he asks—that you believe, receiving his gift of forgiveness and grace. You see, you are not saved because of anything YOU DO, but by what HE HAS DONE. We must only believe and surrender.

And for those of us who have...

4. Respond to God's radical love by demonstrating radical love as a result. 

   •Love him radically. 1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us. This means loving obedience: 1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. Love is an amazingly more powerful motivation than is fear or guilt or duty. 

   •Love others radically. That’s what Jesus says in the sermon on the plain. Now you can love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, give not expecting anything in return, and turn the other cheek. 1 John 4:19-21 “We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”

Radical love is the key. When you've been the recipient of it in great measure, you can give it to others.  Living out LOVE is how we stay on offense without being offensive! Love is positive, inviting, active, and almost irresistible! According to Romans 12:9-21, that's how we overcome evil with good, and how the burning conviction of the Holy Spirit will change the hearts of others—even those who hate us! 

Hear this message as it was given here.

A Girl Named Duncan

My world changed forever on February 26, 1996 when this little blonde-headed, blue-eyed girl came into my life. She immediately stole my heart. We named her Duncan, after a missionary family who God used to impact me and many others in the world for Jesus. Yeah, I guess it's kind of a guy's name. We worried she might get some grief over it as she grew.


When she was little she loved tiny beautiful things: little flowers, rocks, shells, four-leaf-clovers (which she has always been able to find with ease).

Easter 2005

As she grew up, she was a walking paradox: tender yet tough, naïve yet clever, tomboy yet girly-girl, diligent and dedicated yet lazy and procrastinating, desiring to please yet sometimes a rascal. She was almost always happy but hated smiling when people watched.

I love her more than I knew I had the capacity to love, and more than words can express. Of course I could say the same about my love for Darla (in a different way), and for Drew and Dara. Drew will always be my only son and my firstborn. There's no comparison to that. Dara is my baby (she hates that moniker), we're a whole lot alike and we've always had a special relationship. But Duncan was my first daughter, and she's always been a daddy's girl.

Something happens to a dude when he has a daughter that is completely unexpected(it was for me, anyway). He sees the world differently. He gets softer and more emotional. He becomes much more protective. He falls in love again in a totally new way. Before Duncan was born, I remember wondering why men—strong men—would struggle and cry when they gave their daughters away on their wedding days. The moment I held Duncan in my arms—I was the first to hold her, by the way—I completely understood. And I dread that day.

Thirteen. Rough year for dad.

She's had more nicknames than both my other kids combined, including Punkin, Clover, Rascal, Dunky, DES, Nummy, and Princess. Honestly, I was scared to death when she turned 13 and entered the self-focused, boy-crazy, parents-are-dumb phase we call the "stupid stage" (which we all must pass through), and I was elated to watch her grow to stand strong for Jesus by age 16. In fact, of all my kids, I was more worried about how she'd turn out than the others!

She's a lot like her mother, and this is good. She loves making things look stylish, neat, and clean. She loves cooking and serving others. She has social grace and seems to know how to say just the right thing in all circumstances. She loves the beach. She is easy to be around and loves to make things fun, meaningful, memorable. She has great skin, tans easily, never stinks, and looks great in everything from sweats to swanky dresses. She'll study hard and make an A on a test only to forget everything she learned as soon as she turns it in. She has a sincere faith and is disciplined regarding reading her Bible and prayer. She's almost universally liked by others and is always trying to gently move people toward Jesus. You can count on her to do the right thing, even if she has to do it alone.


She's also got some of her dad's attributes. She's a bit of a daredevil. She's fight (as opposed to flight). She loves pondering theology and politics and loves to debate for the sake of determining truth (she's always been "my little theologian"). She loves classic cars—working on them, admiring them, driving them. She loves fishing and hunting. She's proud of her family and her name. She's passionate about missions (living up to her name). And she's not afraid to stand and speak the truth of the Bible in front of a crowd.

Oh, the stories I could tell.

She raised and saved money to go on a trip after her high school graduation. Not to the beach to party. She wanted to go to Indonesia, the country with the highest population of Muslims in the world and share Jesus. It was an incredible summer. God used her and grew her.

I could not be more proud.

I got to spend a weekend with the family around Easter. And the day afterward, I got to hang out with Duncan.

We went trout fishing at the Hiwassee. It was like a dream from which I did not want to awaken.

Duncan casting.

A beautiful river. Spring has begun.

She caught the only Brown Trout of the day and released it.
She really is a good fisherwoman. 

That's a stringer full. We caught 11 Rainbows
and Duncan caught a really nice Yellow Perch.
We turned the perch loose after this picture.

Truck Norris

I gave in to the non-stop pleading from Dara that began long before she turned 16 to have an old truck for her car. I really tried to talk her out of it. I know all-too-well how frustrating it can be to be a kid wanting to go somewhere and your vehicle not start. And having an old truck is great if you're a guy (typically) who uses the bed, regularly tows stuff, and doesn't mind fixing it frequently. Her mother was a harder person to convince than me that this was a good idea! A truck is the LAST thing Darla would drive. But in the end, Dara persisted, playing her cards well, giving us little choice other than to allow it.

Here's the way it works at the Sparks house:

• Driving's a privilege not a right. Therefore it is only granted when the driver is well-trained and other priorities are accomplished. Things like honesty (an important first), respecting authorities, and making wise choices in other areas (grades, phone, chores, showing kindness, etc.) are non-negotiable.

• Financial responsibility is important. That means we ask our kids to buy their car, unless they are involved in athletics or other good activities that prevents them from being able to save to afford a car (in which case, we will help them). All three of ours were able to buy their cars, despite them being involved in other things. Once they have a car, they must have "skin in the game" regarding gas and insurance. Regarding insurance, parents will pay for the lowest rate (including discounts for good grades, etc.) but additional costs due to tickets or accidents or grades are the driver's responsibility.

• Freedom doesn't increase when you get a car, responsibilities do. With driving comes the necessity of MORE communication, more devotion to following the rules, more maturity...not less. Mistakes have higher consequences than before. And when foolish mistakes are made or responsibility isn't shown, keys are taken away.

There are others, of course, but those are the main principles. Drew found and bought himself a Jeep Cherokee that he improved quite a bit over his time in high school. Duncan got a little help from us to first buy a 12-year-old Chevy Malibu, but later was able to buy a 1981 Fiat Spider herself (that she LOVES). Dara (as usual) was adamant that we allow her plenty of training throughout her 15th year, and was on-the-ball regarding the other requirements, including saving money to buy a truck. And she didn't just want any truck. She preferred an old Jeep J10. So when she found one in West Knoxville off Sutherland, we were in pursuit. See the whole story here.

Well, here's the rest of the story. Despite my initial remorse for allowing her to buy it, and thanks to lots of help from a mechanically-inclined friend, Truck Norris (as Dara calls it) is, quite frankly, pretty awesome. We've had to fix stuff like speedometer, carburetor, plugs & wires, most gauges, lights & lenses, paint the hood, replace & paint a fender, new tires, choke, fuel & air filters, battery, starter, alternator, breaks, fuel sending unit, mirrors, and various other wires, vacuum tubes, gaskets, knobs, and parts.

This is before we were finished loading. The
trailer's tires were near bursting, and Truck's
bed couldn't hold another piece of oak. The
picture definitely doesn't do this task justice!

That may sound like a lot—but it has been done a little at a time as needed—and nothing was really expensive. It's now reasonably reliable and safe. To improve the truck's worn interior we replaced the seat and door panel fabric with a colorful western fabric that Dara found online, and replaced the interior carpet. We replaced the old 1980s cassette-deck radio with a new unit and installed new speakers (important!). And we've raised the seats and installed a 4" lift kit (with new springs and shocks). The drivetrain (especially the 4-wheel-drive system) has been bullet-proof (Lord, thank you, and please let it continue to be so!). It still has some issues (transmission fluid leak, still hard to start due to needed carb-adjustment, some electronic mysteries), but it's not bad.

I've also enjoyed having a truck around again. The Wagoneer is great, but it's hard to replace the handiness of a pickup. We put Truck Norris to the test a couple of weeks ago when my dad had two oak trees in his yard in Jefferson City that needed to be cut and removed. We loaded Truck Norris' bed "cab-high" in green (meaning not dried or cured, read: "heavy") red and white oak firewood and loaded up a trailer for Truck Norris to pull back to Knoxville. Test passed.

Today we had our first significant snow since Truck Norris came to the Sparks family. Dara and I went to an abandoned parking lot and let her learn how to drive in the snow. Then we ran errands and went to Dara's friend's house, driving on snow-covered roads the whole way. Again, pass! Truck Norris did very well. The only minor problem was keeping the windows clean. It wasn't bad, but the wipers are weak and sometimes randomly stop for a few seconds, and the defrost barely blows. But Truck is rock solid in the snow. I'm going to take it to elders meeting tonight. Hope I don't wreck it. Dara will kill me!

So, all things considered, Truck Norris was a good buy. All told we've got around $5k in it. Dara still loves it (despite the usual challenges to owning an old vehicle) and I am certain she could get her money out of it and then some. But the problem is I'm kind of attached to it! When Dara is over the truck stage, I'm hoping she'll sell it to me for a reasonable price!

Parenting Leaders

My kids and my godly and active 98-year-old grandmother. She still
plays the organ for her church. Talk about a woman who has made a
 difference! I am so thankful for her example and faithfulness to God.

I want to do everything I can to grow a strong family. This is my number one responsibility. If you're in a family, it's yours too. As a believer, I live to bring glory to God by making disciples. If I don't do that at home, what does this mean? I don't want to waste my life and I want my family to make a difference. Darla and I are raising our kids to be world-changers in their own ways, however God wants them to do that. Parenting is a huge challenge and we're not out of the woods yet! I recently told a friend that one probably shouldn't write a book about parenting until one's own kids are adults in order to be able to prove the strategy works. Ultimately, as with all other things, "it is God who works in us..." (Phil. 2:13), so we can't take any credit at all. It is with prayer and fear that I write (and preach) this! God please have mercy and provide grace to lead my family to walk in your ways.

We're currently walking through the gospel of Luke as a church. Of course, Jesus is the subject; and Luke's perspective on him is unique. Among other reasons, he's the only gentile Bible writer. He's also a keenly observant doctor, and a great story teller to boot.

Luke chapter 2 gives us the only inspired look at Jesus' childhood. That's it! Yeah, there are some apocryphal legends written much later…but none are reliable. And yeah, we can make some assumptions (some do)…but it’s conjecture. Here's everything we know about Jesus' childhood:

Luke 2:41-52 (ESV)

⁴¹Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. ⁴²And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom. ⁴³And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, ⁴⁴but supposing him to be in the group they went a day's journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances, ⁴⁵and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. ⁴⁶After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. ⁴⁷And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. ⁴⁸And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” ⁴⁹And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” ⁵⁰And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. ⁵¹And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.

⁵²And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

This passage isn’t so much overlooked, as it is missed in it’s intent. So many times growing up, I heard this story in Sunday school, along with the aid of felt boards and coloring pages. The focus was usually on the point that someone made a mistake. Must have been Mary and Joseph 'cause Jesus didn’t sin. Well, that’s not what it’s about. 

The PRIMARY reason the Holy Spirit inspired Luke to record was to show that Jesus–from age 12–understood who he actually was: the unique, begotten, Son of God. To claim to be God’s Son is to claim to be God. Throughout Jesus' life on earth he insisted he was the Son of God. The Jews understood that this meant Jesus was equating himself with God: "He was even calling God his own Father, making himself equal with God" (Jn 5:17-18).  This often made the Jews try to kill him, and that’s ultimately why they did. Luke records this in chapter 22 (NASB): 

^66…the Council of elders of the people assembled…saying, ⁶⁷“If You are the Christ, tell us.” But He said to them, “If I tell you, you will not believe; ^…& they all said, “Are You the Son of God, then?” & He said to them, “Yes, I am.” ⁷¹Then they said, “What further need do we have of testimony? For we have heard it ourselves from His own mouth.”

That's the main thing Luke wanted us to know. Jesus claimed to be God. Because he was. He knew it from at least age 12. When he told Mary that she should've known he'd be in HIS Father's house, he wasn't using a metaphor, as in "God the Father of us all." He used a first-person singular possessive pronoun. "MY Father's house" (emphasis mine). "God really is my very Father and I am his literal Son."

There is a SECONDARY reason we have this story: 

The Temple is significant to God. This is a big deal and it is something that we don’t “get” today. Jesus was drawn to the temple, because the temple was, is (during Jesus' day), and will be important in God’s plan. When Jesus was left behind in Jerusalem, he went to the most logical place—God’s house—the central place of Jerusalem and the very reason they journeyed there for the Passover in the first place. Even more the temple was the center of earth for activity related to God. If one wanted to worship, seek, learn about or interact with God, this was the place to be. The temple pointed forward to Christ, it was the center of much of his ministry activity, and it's where he will return one day. There's more that I mentioned in the sermon and you can hear it here if you want. We will see more of the temple's role as we continue in Luke.

There is a TERTIARY (a third priority) reason I believe God revealed this story, and it happens to be the point that many feel is the most practical–and that's why I'm posting about it. It's what got the most discussion after the services. Several people asked for me to make it available. Here it is.

The home is key in the formation of a leader. We get a very honest snapshot of the family in which Jesus grew up. There are seven observations I made from Jesus’ family that I want to incorporate in my own family, and I encourage you to do so too. 

1. Devotion. Jesus was a part of a devout family that didn’t miss the passover and other customs of the faith. They made worship & religious observance a priority.

• Is your family marked by spiritual devotion? Is this your priority/identity? 

2. Community. Jesus’ family was well connected in their community of family, friends, and neighbors. All of this was faith-centric. So much so that Mary and Joseph assumed Jesus was in the band of them traveling together back to Nazareth. 

• Are you committed to building deep friendships and relationships with people who are positive influences? Where do you go for that? This doesn’t just happen. Relationships must be pursued. This is hard for Americans—we must see the importance of community and take initiative. Small groups, MANday Night, Engage, and many more opportunities exist at Providence.

3. Trust. There was apparently a lot of trust and freedom. Jesus was probably always in the right place and they didn’t become alarmed until a day after leaving Jerusalem. Now, all ended up ok, no one was at fault. If anyone, the parents should have made sure to check on him! He did the right thing by going to the one place they should known he’d be. Observation: they had a trust in him that resulted in freedom. 

• Trust begets freedom which begets more trust… This goes both ways. Kids, show yourselves honest and trustworthy, and parents will give more freedom. Parents, trust but verify and reward with freedom. Your job is to make disciples of your kids, unleashing them into the world to make a difference. That means parenting is in many ways the act of releasing. Catch them doing good. Sometimes let them fail. Point it out in love. Give them the privilege of consequences. Praise like crazy when they show character, honesty, trustworthiness. We brag & nag way too much about performance, not character!

4. Understanding Scripture. He was amazingly well-versed spiritually and engaging even as a pre-teen. No doubt his home was Bible-CENTERED. This is something a kid must have a hunger for themselves. And you can kindle the fire.

• Demonstrate a sincere love for the Bible. 

-Let them see you read it. -Let them hear you quote it -Let them see you live it out.

-When they’re young, read it to them. Discuss its meaning. (Jesus Storybook Bible)

-When they’re older take them to get their OWN Bible. (We spend hundreds on phones/games/clothes, let’s spend dozens on the greatest book..that changes lives.) 

-Encourage time alone with God. But NEVER force-feed or make this negative. 

-Don’t let someone else be the primary source for their Bible training. If they go to private school, let them teach you—you learn with them!

-Always talk about having a biblical worldview. And demonstrate having it. 

5. Learn from Mistakes. His parents didn’t communicate or check on him as they should have. They panicked, worried, and fretted as most parents do. They seem to shift the blame on him a bit. But Mary obviously “got it” later. She told Luke about it. She treasured it!

• You’re going to make mistakes. Utilize them! Don’t over-react or think you’ve doomed your kids. God has grace! He used imperfect parents to sharpen his Son, he will use you. Get over your mistakes and laugh about them later!

6. Obedience. After this episode, Jesus was submissive to his earthly parents. And his parents (Mary at least) told Luke about his full and complete obedience, in spite of the fact that he was God's son (read: "God in the flesh"). Imagine parenting THAT kid! 

• Like Jesus, submit to your parents! Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. " Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land" (Eph 6:1–2). Until you’re independent, you’re under God’s command to submit. Unless they ask you to do something that God has forbidden, you only need to obey. You never get too old for this principle. The kind of submission may change, but you are always their child. Honor them! There are exceptions, but in virtually all cases, no one loves you more! This principle of obedience to parents has been ignored by our culture. 
Parents, it is important for you to be strong early. Kids need parents! You’ll have opportunities to be friends later (and much more so if your kids learn obedience).

7. Continued growth. You never finish growing. You never arrive. You can always be a better parent, just as you can be a better person. Your family isn't static. It's either getting healthier or growing toward dysfunction. Your kids aren't stuck in place, they're growing closer to Christ or running from him. 

• Never stop learning! Never quit. Never take a break. Always make things better. Always ask God to help you do your best. He will. Even the bad times will be used for his glory and your good.

The home is totally under attack in so many ways big and small. Fight for it. This is where leaders are made. Once again, there are no accidents with God. He wanted his Son raised in a spiritually-devout, community-connected, trust-based, Bible-centered-and-literate, authority-honoring, continually challenging/improving family, preferably with a mom & a dad. He went to great lengths to make this happen. Mary & Joseph were normal people who had challenges but had to make it work. You are too. You can too. Don’t buy the world’s lies about today’s new definition of family. In Jesus’ home there were important supports for spiritual growth. These are things that you can have in your home. This is how leaders are formed. This is how world-changers are forged.

Hear the whole message here from January 3, 2016 entitled, The Truth of Jesus' Childhood.

Bad dad? Or brilliant? Probably neither.

What have I done? After 3 years of my daughter's nagging, praying, searching, begging, and saving money, I've let her to buy her first vehicle: a 1982 Jeep J10 Loredo pickup. She could not be happier.

As it sat when we bought it.
See the missing fender flare?

Ever since I came home with my Wagoneer a few years ago, she's been in love. She wanted mine, and when I told her that she wasn't getting it (and after her mother said, "no more Wagoneers" in this family) she was determined to buy an old truck. Since she turned 15, I have been inundated with her near daily texts with links to trucks and we have seen many of them. Then she sent me a link to this Jeep J10. She particularly likes J10s because they are basically a Wagoneer truck! Long story short: the guy wanted $5000k for it, we talked him WAY down, she handed him the money and we now have it.

 She could not be happier about this old truck. You would think it is a brand new car. But it is far from new. Mom says it's a piece of junk. There's a long list of things needing attention: like the fuel level gauge or the speedometer that don't work. The hood is covered with pink polka dots of bondo where the previous owner began to repair dents from some hail damage. The metal fender flare was ripped off when the previous owner had a tire blowout (it's in two prices in the bed). The mirrors are mismatched. But all the really important things work: it goes and stops and all the lights work. Amazingly, it doesn't leak!

I've got buyer's remorse and I'm not even the buyer—she is. I feel like a totally foolish parent. Maybe this will be a lesson. Only thing is I'm stuck with picking her up and figuring out how to get the thing home when it breaks down at the most inopportune times. But it will serve as a lesson in life for her. How to fix cars, how to make something better over time, how to settle for what you can afford...or at least, that's what I'm telling myself.

Ok. Sure I like it. It's cool. It's black and loud and tough and just cool. It is actually quite original except for the engine: its straight six has been replaced with an AMC 304. Ok, I don't care who you are, that's just cool. The important things work, but there are many problems. Broken speedometer, gas gauge, air conditioning, and some needed body work. But the old thing has very little rust.
She's got big plans for the big thing. She's already given it a name: Truck Norris.
Happy Father's Day. 

Father's Day

I think I'm looking forward to Father's Day more than ever. Maybe it's because it's the last one before my kids start going to college. Maybe it's because it's the first one since learning my dad has terminal cancer. It could be because I'm really tired and I'm ready for a break (we usually go camping for a week after Father's Day)! While all those reasons certainly contribute, I actually think it's because I'm looking forward to church on Father's Day! I don't mean to shock, but this is unusual! Ask any pastor and if he's honest he'll tell you the secular holidays are some of the most difficult for which to prepare. In truth, most pastors dread preaching on those days--especially the ones that fall on a Sunday. Here are the choices: preach from the Bible and ignore what's on everyone's mind (in this case you'd better keep it short!), do the gratuitous special holiday thematic sermon (shmeh--they all seem to sound the same to me), or scrap everything conventional and do something totally creative and outside-the-box different.

I'm fired up about church on Father's Day this year because the sermon (hint: it's not really a sermon) is going to be all three!!

I'm telling you: this year is going to be one to remember. And it won't be the same if you try to catch it on MP3 later.

If you don't go to church, I invite you to Providence tomorrow (for times and directions, visit providencechurch.com). Bring your dad or a man you know. You (and he) will not be sorry!

An Amazing Time.

From my high school days I dreamed of going to the Rockies on an outdoor adventure. When Drew was seven years old, I shared this dream with him after reading a book about the western wilderness. He said, "Maybe we can go together sometime, Daddy." We decided that night that we would when he was old enough (if he still wanted to). Drew LOVES hiking, backpacking, and experiencing the wilderness. It has always been his thing. And it is something we both love.

I am profoundly grateful that our church has from the start determined to give full-time staff a sabbatical after every seven years. Pastors in particular tend to get buried in their work and sometimes burn out; or perhaps worse, burn out their families. I could give numerous examples. This policy helps us keeps family first and rekindle the burning passion for Christ--both necessary if we are to lead people spiritually. It is because of this intentional policy that I was able to fulfill my and Drew's dream, and spend some invaluable time together before Drew goes to college in a couple of years (I dread the thought!).

Many months ago, I blocked out July for the trip. I didn't know where the money would come from, but I knew God would provide. He answered my prayers. I was able to save a few hundred dollars over the last year, and without ever mentioning the need to anyone, a couple of wonderful people from our church gave me gifts that made it possible to go. I am so grateful.

We flew out to Jackson Hole, Wyoming on July 4th for 23 days. There is no way to tell every detail. We backpacked and camped in the Tetons, the Bridger-Teton National Forest, Yellowstone, the Winds (a desolate high mountain range south east of the Tetons), the canyon land of Utah, the Colorado Rockies, and other places. We saw 7 states (not from Rock City): Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Colorado, and (barely) New Mexico and Arizona. It seems most spots had their particular plague: cold & snow, mosquitoes (often), gnats, no-see-ums, horseflies, heat, bears, or something else! But believe me, the beauty and exhilaration of each place far outweighed these tolerable negatives. I'm sure you Providence folks will hear stories in the future from the wild and wonderful adventure Drew and I had together.

The one thing I will say at this point is this: I would not trade anything for the time spent with Drew. I love my son. Yes, we had some good deep conversations--sometimes about very spiritual things. Yes, we had to depend on each other. But perhaps best of all we were TOGETHER; laughing, hurting, stinking, and experiencing amazement. I (intentionally) did very little reproving. We are completely different in many regards, but we are also very much alike--a fact that I focused on. We both like to eat well. We both like to read. We both like to observe the plant and animal life around us. We both like tech stuff (computer and cell phone related in particular), we both like the same styles of music, we both like to talk about politics. We both like our sweet tea.

One of my daughters was going through a rough-spot a while back. A Christian friend Darla and I respect gave some advice. "Enjoy her. Let her know you delight in her." I took the advice and it made all the difference. As parents we can easily become negative. In this I am guilty. Drew is our oldest, and the fact that he's a son makes him even more the victim of my high expectations. Of course, I have his best interests at heart and only want him to experience the benefits of wisdom. When he resists wisdom, I can become negative. Sometimes negative communication can be inferred as, "You're a failure." ESPECIALLY if a kid does not have the confidence of knowing his parent delights in him or her. My brother-in-law wisely said it this way: "Reproof without relationship equals rejection and rebellion."

Relationship is the key. There is no substitute for time spent doing what your child loves to do--encouraging them and delighting in them and with them. I challenge you parents to MAKE THIS HAPPEN. Consider this a great task you must accomplish. It is not complicated. It is invaluable.

Here are a few pics of our trip.

Hidden Falls in the Tetons:










Cascade Canyon:


Fixing lunch after a cloudburst next to Cascade Creek.










Hiking on snow in July:










A hill of flowers with quite a view:













































The beginning of our hike around this lake (Green Lake) to the top of one of the mountains in the back.







This is Slide Lake which is a several-mile hike into the Winds range. Incredible!













(Above) Climbing the talus (rock slide) above slide lake on our way to 12,000+ ft. Flat Top Mountain. There's no trail here! We call this "the Epic Hike."


(Below) We are probably 80% of the way to the top where we rested and ate.







Canyon country near Moab, UT.





Gemini Arches. Look closely to see that we are hundreds of feet from the floor! There was a monument there of a guy who died here driving his Jeep. I can see how.


This is a great campsite Drew picked on a mountain across the "hole" from the Tetons. Perfect (except for the horseflies and mosquitoes)!













Red Mountain in Colorado, above the famous "Yankee Girl" silver mine. We camped on the mine site.


Different from Red Mountain is "Red Hills" in the Bridger-Teton National Forest. Our last night was spent near here.













Buffalo. Umm...I mean, "Bison."




Evidently I've reached the max of photos I can publish on this post. There are literally hundreds more!