Crazy May

We're very proud of Drew. He's now doing
web-based marketing at Weigels.

Wow! It's the end of another crazy May. I've long noticed (for the last 25 years or so) that May is just a hectic month. There are several birthdays in our family (including Darla's, Drew's and my sister's), our anniversary (this year marked 27 years), Mothers Day, the end of the school year (made more crazy due to Drew's and Dara's graduations from college and high school, respectively), and the beginning of consistently warm weather. That brings on gardening and yard work, not to mention outdoor activities of other sorts. In addition to these things, Drew bought and moved into his first house, Duncan got engaged to be married and moved out of her college house, and Dara determined where she would go to college, bought a car and sold her truck.
Yes, Truck Norris now has a new owner. I'm kind of sad to see him go. We had pretty recently replaced the engine with a brand new AMC 304 v-8 and everything was finally running right! Wow the blood, sweat, and tears that I put into that truck! But the new owner seems very excited and will no doubt continue to give it great care.

My Wag, after body repairs, before paint.

Not my Wag. This is the kind of old school stripe I'm getting!

My Wagoneer has been another iron I've had in the fire. Since February it's been in the shop getting fixed and painted. By fixed I mean all the damage from my wreck has been repaired, plus any rust on the truck has been repaired with new metal. Now it's really getting close to being ready for paint. I'm painting it the same color it had, which is a tiny bit brighter than the original "black cherry" (dark maroon) it came with from the factory. The previous owner had given it a respray that was a beautiful improvement on the already great color (it is a little more pearly-metallic than the original) but the paint job itself was not the best. It had places of overspray and some runs, and the wood grain decal and trim had not been replaced, and it was cracking and fading. Most people never saw these flaws, but I did and it was quickly getting worse. The biggest issue was the rust that was starting to bubble and show at the bottom of the quarter panels (a typical Wagoneer issue). I'm going to do something different regarding the wood siding. I found the chrome trim for an early 1970s Wagoneer that highlights the distinctive lines that were covered in the the 1980s by all that wood grain vinyl. I am going to just do wood grain on the 4-6 inch stripe that runs the length of the Wagoneer just below the door handles inside my new chrome trim. It's been a hassle to resolve all the problems, but I can't wait to see how it turns out. It will be a unique Wagoneer!

Here's Joe, tearing down an old 360 I bought to rebuild.
After having it machined (bored .030 over), ported, and
installing a new intake, pistons, four-barrel carb, etc.,
it should be a stud. I hope it lasts as long as the old one!

What's more, I'm getting a new engine built for the Wagoneer. The original one that's currently in it has about 250,000 miles. That's a lot for a carbureted AMC 360, even though they were great engines when designed in the late 1960s. A friend introduced me to an engine builder who I really like. He's a Mopar guy (for you non-motorheads, that means he likes Chryslers, Dodges, and Plymouths, particularly the Hemi muscle car varieties), but he agreed to help me build an AMC 360 for the Wag that has 300 hp, and 400 lb. ft. of torque. That's not crazy power, but it is definitely much more than the Wagoneer has ever had (144 net hp, and 280 lb. ft. when new). That should allow the Wagoneer to pull Daisy our camper up any mountain that has a road. I can't wait! This was all made possible because of the hit-and-run that happened to me last August. I was hoping the Wag would be finished by our usual Father's Day camping trip, but I don't think it's going to happen. But that's ok. I really just want all these jobs done right.

I'm sure I'll write a post on all this Wagoneer stuff once everything's done (will it ever be done?).

Hopefully, things will begin to settle down a little. Right now I'm speaking at a marriage conference in LA (Lower Alabama) for Coaches Outreach.

New (to me) Truck

I'm now the owner of a Nissan D21 pickup truck (1992, 4x4, v6, automatic, King Cab, in Midnight Blue Pearl with 139k miles and pretty new Goodyear tires). I bought it for a really great price. I stumbled across it when looking for something to drive while my old Wagoneer was being repaired and repainted. The plan I sold Darla was that I would not have to rush my paint and body guy and I could just sell the truck after the Wagoneer was done, which is much better than renting a car (or burdening someone by borrowing their's). Well, I'm afraid I'm growing attached to it! I think it just may be a keeper (shhh! Don't tell Darla). It runs really great and is just so handy.

I always loved these Hardbodies. They came out the year I graduated high school. I had friends who had them (I was a GM and Toyota truck guy back then) and I thought they were really cool. I had forgotten how easy/fun/economical these little trucks are. I've enjoyed zipping around in it and having the useful bed in the back (taking the trash and hauling wood is a little more of a hassle in the Wagoneer because I have to hook up the little trailer—it's hard to beat a truck!).

I'm not a mechanic, but can do most low- and mid-level work in my garage. I totally have respect for you experts out there! I like piddling around with it and learning about how to do stuff. And for the first time in my life (with a few exceptions), I've learned that it's freeing to have a car to drive while working on another! I've always felt the pressure to get my projects finished quickly because I've depended on the car for transportation!!

So far I've changed the oil & filter, the spark plugs & wires, the belts (they were in horrendous shape), the thermostat (I had virtually no heat), and air filter. I also fixed a speedometer problem (previous owner said it worked before I bought it) and replaced all a/c vents (that were brittle and sun-baked).

Issues it has:
•The transmission seems to want to shift nearer the rpm redline than seems right. I'm going to change the fluid and filter and see if that helps.
•The cruise control doesn't work. Switch is on and light is too. No engage. Guys on the "Infamous Nissan" Hardbody Forum online have suggested a couple of fixes that I'm going to try today.
•The body is great except for a palm-of-your-hand-sized dent in the front of the hood and some peeling factory clear coat on the hood and roof. But there's no rust on body or frame!
•The driver's seat has a small crack in the vinyl part (just above the recline handle) and a cigarette burn right in the middle. I'll just look for a replacement seat from time-to-time at the junkyard, but I'm not worried about this. It looks like the skin on the the dash has become unglued in places. And the cover of center console is showing age. It, like the top of the steering wheel, is deteriorating.

Fun stuff to work on! Or NOT work on (it's an old truck so it doesn't need to be perfect)!

Now to come up with a name. I'm thinking, "Buster."

Truck Norris

I gave in to the non-stop pleading from Dara that began long before she turned 16 to have an old truck for her car. I really tried to talk her out of it. I know all-too-well how frustrating it can be to be a kid wanting to go somewhere and your vehicle not start. And having an old truck is great if you're a guy (typically) who uses the bed, regularly tows stuff, and doesn't mind fixing it frequently. Her mother was a harder person to convince than me that this was a good idea! A truck is the LAST thing Darla would drive. But in the end, Dara persisted, playing her cards well, giving us little choice other than to allow it.

Here's the way it works at the Sparks house:

• Driving's a privilege not a right. Therefore it is only granted when the driver is well-trained and other priorities are accomplished. Things like honesty (an important first), respecting authorities, and making wise choices in other areas (grades, phone, chores, showing kindness, etc.) are non-negotiable.

• Financial responsibility is important. That means we ask our kids to buy their car, unless they are involved in athletics or other good activities that prevents them from being able to save to afford a car (in which case, we will help them). All three of ours were able to buy their cars, despite them being involved in other things. Once they have a car, they must have "skin in the game" regarding gas and insurance. Regarding insurance, parents will pay for the lowest rate (including discounts for good grades, etc.) but additional costs due to tickets or accidents or grades are the driver's responsibility.

• Freedom doesn't increase when you get a car, responsibilities do. With driving comes the necessity of MORE communication, more devotion to following the rules, more maturity...not less. Mistakes have higher consequences than before. And when foolish mistakes are made or responsibility isn't shown, keys are taken away.

There are others, of course, but those are the main principles. Drew found and bought himself a Jeep Cherokee that he improved quite a bit over his time in high school. Duncan got a little help from us to first buy a 12-year-old Chevy Malibu, but later was able to buy a 1981 Fiat Spider herself (that she LOVES). Dara (as usual) was adamant that we allow her plenty of training throughout her 15th year, and was on-the-ball regarding the other requirements, including saving money to buy a truck. And she didn't just want any truck. She preferred an old Jeep J10. So when she found one in West Knoxville off Sutherland, we were in pursuit. See the whole story here.

Well, here's the rest of the story. Despite my initial remorse for allowing her to buy it, and thanks to lots of help from a mechanically-inclined friend, Truck Norris (as Dara calls it) is, quite frankly, pretty awesome. We've had to fix stuff like speedometer, carburetor, plugs & wires, most gauges, lights & lenses, paint the hood, replace & paint a fender, new tires, choke, fuel & air filters, battery, starter, alternator, breaks, fuel sending unit, mirrors, and various other wires, vacuum tubes, gaskets, knobs, and parts.

This is before we were finished loading. The
trailer's tires were near bursting, and Truck's
bed couldn't hold another piece of oak. The
picture definitely doesn't do this task justice!

That may sound like a lot—but it has been done a little at a time as needed—and nothing was really expensive. It's now reasonably reliable and safe. To improve the truck's worn interior we replaced the seat and door panel fabric with a colorful western fabric that Dara found online, and replaced the interior carpet. We replaced the old 1980s cassette-deck radio with a new unit and installed new speakers (important!). And we've raised the seats and installed a 4" lift kit (with new springs and shocks). The drivetrain (especially the 4-wheel-drive system) has been bullet-proof (Lord, thank you, and please let it continue to be so!). It still has some issues (transmission fluid leak, still hard to start due to needed carb-adjustment, some electronic mysteries), but it's not bad.

I've also enjoyed having a truck around again. The Wagoneer is great, but it's hard to replace the handiness of a pickup. We put Truck Norris to the test a couple of weeks ago when my dad had two oak trees in his yard in Jefferson City that needed to be cut and removed. We loaded Truck Norris' bed "cab-high" in green (meaning not dried or cured, read: "heavy") red and white oak firewood and loaded up a trailer for Truck Norris to pull back to Knoxville. Test passed.

Today we had our first significant snow since Truck Norris came to the Sparks family. Dara and I went to an abandoned parking lot and let her learn how to drive in the snow. Then we ran errands and went to Dara's friend's house, driving on snow-covered roads the whole way. Again, pass! Truck Norris did very well. The only minor problem was keeping the windows clean. It wasn't bad, but the wipers are weak and sometimes randomly stop for a few seconds, and the defrost barely blows. But Truck is rock solid in the snow. I'm going to take it to elders meeting tonight. Hope I don't wreck it. Dara will kill me!

So, all things considered, Truck Norris was a good buy. All told we've got around $5k in it. Dara still loves it (despite the usual challenges to owning an old vehicle) and I am certain she could get her money out of it and then some. But the problem is I'm kind of attached to it! When Dara is over the truck stage, I'm hoping she'll sell it to me for a reasonable price!

Christmas Tree Time!

Dara got this t-shirt for me for Christmas! Perfect.

Yep. It's that time again! When the Sparks family turns Griswold!

It's getting harder to get all the kids together, but the great Annual Sparks Christmas Tree Adventure is always a big deal! Drew came up from Georgia and Duncan from Jefferson City and we jumped in the dirty Wagoneer to go find a tree. After eating at a Mennonite market on the way, we pointed the Wag toward Whitetop Virginia, just a few miles away from the northeastern "tip" of Tennessee. There was no snow this year as has happened before, but it was still awesome!

I think the Wagoneer was MADE for this kind of family memory. Who cares if it sucks down a couple of tanks of gas on this glorious day? It's worth it!

Our old friend Charlie has had some health problems, but we found him at the local store. He's in his 80s now, and still takes care of us!

Over the years, there some patterns have emerged that reoccur almost every year. One is the fact that campaigning ensues as the hunt for the perfect tree commences. Everybody wants to find the Sparks Family Christmas Tree. I think our kids took pictures with three or four different trees only to have the tree vetoed for another one. We usually walk several acres trying to find one, and we usually end up pretty near the barn where we started! Sparky and Mo also get in on the hunt (actually, they're just looking for yummy deer and rabbit poop. It's disgusting.)!

Then there's the horseplay that always seems to happen. Thankfully this year no one got hurt or mad!

Once the tree is found, I get on hands and knees and cut it down. 

Then there's the get it on the Wag and take lots of pictures part. 

This year Drew wanted to buy a tree for his dorm room. Interesting for a guy who often complains about how poor he is! But hey, it's Christmas! 

Both trees loaded on the Wag gets lots of attention! And when five adults and two dogs get out, conversations galore! People really dig the tree-toting Wagoneer, especially when we tell them about our tradition.

A Good Day.

For the last three days I've been telling Darla, "Saturday was just a good day." It was nothing super interesting, but it was made special because Drew was home from Berry College in Georgia where he just spent most of the summer taking classes and working. We decided to load up the Wagoneer and go to Cocke County.
It was afternoon and we hadn't eaten lunch, so our first stop was Carver's orchard in Cosby. We ate at the family-owned restaurant, and shopped in the produce barn. It's a great place. We got peach cider, apple cider, a half-bushel of big, juicy, South Carolina peaches, apple butter, and some other tasty stuff.

 This is a spring-fed pond below Max Patch mountain. Clear, cold water. There was an older couple fishing for trout. Max Patch is a mountain on the border of Tennessee and North Carolina accessible from the Harmon Den exit off I-40. Just take a left at the end of the exit and go. The pavement quickly ends. Just follow the signs all the way up. In the winter it will snow on Max Patch when hardly anywhere else gets snow. You better have four-wheel-drive when conditions are bad! The curvy road can be challenging. We take our time and enjoy the view. Don't expect bathrooms or any kind of amenities. Hardly anyone is up there, and there are definitely no stores or gas stations. Just like we like it!

 Here we are on top of Max Patch. The only other people up there were a young couple that took this picture. They had just become engaged! We took their picture and they took ours. She was still teary-eyed. The Appalachian Trail crosses over the top of this wonderful bald. That's Tennessee behind us to the west.

 Darla, Sparky, and Drew walking in front of me and the girls on Max Patch. It's crazy that it's the middle of August and we needed jackets--it was cold! Darla even wore my Mountain Hardwear toboggan! What a beautiful place. We've been coming up here since the kids were tiny. Every season is beautiful. Sledding in winter, colors in fall, flowers in spring and cool, breezy, green beauty in summer. Duncan talked about wanting to have her wedding up there.

This is after the hike before we headed home. The hike is not bad at all (Dara and I wore Chacos), but you wouldn't know by looking at Sparky. He's so out of shape.

The Wag was flawless, by the way. It's more eager than the family truckster on Sparks adventures--and thirstier, too! I got a whopping 13.4 mpg! But (in my opinion) the gas mileage is well worth the old-school, silky-smooth ride and torquey v-8. Oh...and we love all those people who give the thumbs-up or ask about it!! My kids laugh when people will take pictures of the G-Wag. Crazy!

A day like today when all five of us can be together is becoming rarer. Taking a break from everyone's busy schedule was a good call. It's something we need more of.

And the icing on the cake? We stopped in my hometown of Jefferson City on the way home and met my dad at the legendary Hoagie Shop Deli for supper. A good day indeed.

A Wagoneer?!

Yep. I bought one. I know. Let me explain.

This isn't mine. But it's virtually identical. I'll have to take
some pictures of my G-Wag later.

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas I saw it outside an auto repair shop on Western Avenue: A dark maroon 1989 Jeep Grand Wagoneer. I’ve liked them for as long as I can remember. A friend’s family had one in the mid 1970s. They sometimes gave me a ride home from swim practice in it. Another friend’s family had one that I rode in on a church trip in 1978. I saw Wags everywhere in New Hampshire and Maine when I went on vacation there in 1980. Then something happened that made an indelible impression.

My college roommate and I both played football, but we really just wanted to hunt and fish. His uncle (an avid fly fisherman and bird hunter) invited us to go grouse hunting with him. My roommate and I drove to his cabin near New Tazwell. He had two cars: a Porsche 911 and a fairly new Jeep Grand Wagoneer. So cool! We tied flies (it’s a trout fishing thing) until late, woke up in the morning and loaded the Wag. You’ve got to understand, even in 1988, the Wagoneer was a relic of days gone by. Conceived in the late 50s, the basic design had not changed since its debut in 1963. It was like an old-school station wagon—woodgrain sides and all—only it had four-wheel-drive and the masculine face of a truck. If you weren’t around in the 80s, you must know that small cars like the VW Rabbit and Honda Prelude were the trend. Even the trucks were smaller and their weakened engines were choked with CAFE-mandated catalytic converters and smog equipment. So we loaded the guns and Pointers (bird dogs) in the custom-caged back and hit the road. I was surprised at how well it rode and the comfort of the leather-couch seats, yet the big, smooth AMC V-8 engine sounded like a muscle car and effortlessly pulled up steep hills. When the road ended it crawled up the side of Clinch Mountain without spinning a tire. That was when I thought, “I want one of these.”

I met Darla that year, and a year-and-a-half later I graduated and we were married. Every car decision we’ve made since has been, well, practical. Reliability, reasonable gas mileage, affordability, and adequate space for our growing family have been the determining factors. That is until a couple of weeks ago.

So in the weeks preceding Christmas, that ‘89 Wagoneer on Western was whispering my name. I thought, “I wonder if it’s for sale.” It was. Weeks went by. “I need that like a hole in the head!” I said to myself whenever I drove by. Then I inched closer: I stopped just to look in the window. “It must be rough on the inside or have rust.” Nope. It was in excellent shape inside and out! Weeks went by. “They must be asking too much for it.” I looked online to see what similar Wags were selling for. They were hard to find. Most available ones are trashed. But good ones were going for 7k to 9k. Some really nice or restored ones were going for 40k! A guy in California is restoring them better-than-new with all the modern conveniences and fancy engines for 130k+!!!

Then I did it. I went inside the place and asked how much they were wanting for it. I don’t want to divulge details, but let’s just say I was surprised...pleasantly! “Something must be wrong with it or someone doesn’t know what these things are worth.” It seemed too good to be true. Turns out the guy who owns the shop (a really good guy) was selling it for his friend who he said took meticulous care of it. So I drove it. I got my buddy Brett (a real car guru) to check it out with me. I asked a mechanic friend to check it out, too. Everyone was saying, “Looks good to me.”

Meanwhile, I drove Darla insane. Over Christmas and New Year’s I couldn’t get my mind off it. “It would be so cool...Drew and I can work on it...I can always sell it if we need the money...I don’t really have a hobby...It would be cheaper to keep it running than to buy a new car...” Much to my surprise, she said, “Why don’t you just buy it.” [It was like that moment in Rocky II when Adrian awoke in the hospital and said, “Win.” Bonggggggggggggggg.] I made an (even lower) offer. Yikes! A woman had just offered full asking price for it. She didn’t come through. The Wag was mine.

“What have I done?” I thought as I drove away. A couple of days later I got gas (it’s pretty thirsty!). A guy at the next pump who saw the temporary tag in the window asked, “Did you just buy that?” “Yep,” I said not knowing whether to feel proud or embarrassed. “How much did you pay?” I laughed, “I’m not telling you that!” He replied, “Would you be interested in selling it? I’ve been looking for one of those.” I wasn’t. Perhaps I should have at least seen what he would pay! Crazy!!!

Again, not mine. This one's a tad lighter maroon and has
white wall tires. Awesome!

Was that confirmation that I had made a good deal? Or was God showing me mercy—giving an opportunity to get my money back before it was too late? I don’t know. What I do know is there are lots of little things to fix: rattles, the radio, a finicky dash light, the power seats and door locks... But it is soooo fun to drive! Taking it to the office is like a 15-minute vacation—or like a time machine back to a simpler day. For some crazy reason, I LOVE driving it.

I know. Most who read this still don’t understand. And I’m not sure I do either.